Logan's birth story begins, for us, two days before labor began. It was a Sunday, July 26th, and I was getting antsy for labor to begin. Mark knew this, so he suggested we head to the mall to walk in the air conditioning and take Lilly to the Children's Museum there. We did a few laps, and found a new store, Bounce Around, so we went in to check it out. It was a huge store filled with bounce houses! For $5, Lilly could bounce as much as she wanted; she was in heaven, and we walked around to all the different bouncy houses with her and she had a blast. That night, after dinner and bedtime, Mark and I started watching the rest of Grace and Frankie on Netflix. As our episode was ending, Lilly woke up screaming and sobbing, and only wanted me to console her. We ended up snuggling in our bed, and when she finally fell asleep, I put her back in her room. I was exhausted, and I had to work the next day, so I went to bed around 11. I didn't sleep well that night, tossing and turning, waking up to Mark snoring several times, plus needing to pee.
Around 5:45 AM, I got up to pee, and as I was getting comfortable in bed again, I thought I felt a contraction (nothing out of the ordinary) and then a faint pop, but I just brushed it off as my imagination. I lay there for a while, wondering how my weekly appointment was going to go that afternoon. At about 6, Lilly woke up screaming again, so I got up to get her, and as I was walking towards the door, I felt an all too familiar gush, and I knew I hadn't imagined that pop - my water had broken! I woke Mark up and headed to the bathroom. Lilly was still crying for me; Mark was rushing around for towels and things I needed, and I was trying to call Nana. Lilly was going to spend the labor with Nana and Auntie JoJo. I texted Nicki, our doula, and called my boss, and waited for contractions to begin. I was only giving my body an hour to get them going before I took matters into my own hands. Luckily, within a half hour, they started.
I puttered around the house, mentally checking off the last minute things that needed to be done, finishing the packing of bags, showering, eating a small breakfast, and getting ready to welcome our baby. Nana and Auntie JoJo got to the house and my contractions were roughly 5 minutes apart, but not strong enough that I had to stop what I was doing. We packed Lilly into the car, and I cried hard at having to say goodbye to my baby, my only baby, for a few days. We went inside and I got in the tub. Around noon, I called the midwives to let them know I was in labor, and talked to Amy, who said she'd check in again in a few hours. Then we talked to Nicki, who said the same thing. We tried to relax while we watched Grace and Frankie (the finale!) before napping. After about an hour nap, my contractions had slowed down, so we needed to get moving. We got up and headed to the store to get some snacks and lunch. My contractions started picking back up again, and after lunch, around 3, we went for a walk. By the time we got home, it was 4ish, and I settled in on the yoga ball, and that's when things started to get a little more intense. For about two hours, I alternated between the shower and the ball, unable to talk through the contractions. They weren't getting any closer together either. At 6, Amy called again, and gently suggested to Mark that we consider heading into the hospital at some point in the near future since I had been ruptured for 12 hours. I asked Nicki to come over, and she arrived at 6:30, and we checked my temp, which was 100.1, a little concerning, but not considered a fever, yet. We tried another shower, and the breast pump. Around 8, we decided it was best to head to the hospital, because my temp was creeping up, 100.7 then, and we didn't want me to get an infection and risk another NICU stay.
When we got there, they were waiting for us, and took me right to a room. I was checked, and was 5 cm dilated, but baby was still pretty high at -3 station. After the initial 30 minute strip on the monitor, I was able to get up and move around, so we got in the shower again, since that's where the contractions were the most regular. I had to be on the monitor for 20 minutes every hour, so after the shower, we went back on the monitor, and tried using the peanut ball. The goal was to get baby to come down more and put more pressure on my cervix so I could dilate and efface quicker. We tried walking, lunges, and then more monitoring. Then we tried the breast pump. My contractions were not getting into a regular pattern on their own and since I was approaching the 18 hour mark, we needed to start pitocin and antibiotics. I was devastated. I knew what that meant, and started sobbing. Nicki, Mark and Amy all tried to calm me down, and it helped a little, knowing I had amazing advocates working for me to be able to have the labor I still wanted, despite needing the pitocin. We had wonderful nurses, who tried everything to make sure I could labor in the positions I wanted while still keeping baby on the monitor.
Around 2 AM, I was checked again and was 7 cm, fully effaced, but baby was still very high. I just didn't think I could do it anymore, and I asked for some pain relief. I had a dose of fentanyl, which I could get once per hour. After 20 minutes of rest, the relief wore off, and I was sobbing again, begging for the epidural. They asked a few times if I was sure, and I said yes. First though, I had to have a little more than a bag of fluids, which took over one agonizing hour. I got another dose of fentanyl at 3, and by 3:30, the epidural had been placed. I was FINALLY able to relax completely. Mark and Nicki got some rest too, and Amy and the nurse stayed in the room for a while, because I started having some drops in my blood pressure. I got another injection of something for my blood pressure, and then needed oxygen, but I was so out of it, I have no idea what was going on. Around 6 AM, I woke and we tried the peanut ball again and I got another dose of antibiotics. Amy was in constant contact with the OB from her practice, who was super supportive in letting me continue to labor as long as there was no sign of infection and baby was tolerating everything well.
We kept switching sides with the peanut ball, alternating between laying on my sides, and sitting upright. My contractions seemed to be the most regular and intense on my sides, but baby was not moving down, which was concerning Amy. They were already pretty worried about how big the baby was - Isabelle had estimated 9 lbs at my last visit. I started feeling the urge to push around 10 AM, but since I couldn't tell them it was an "intense" urge and I was 9.5 cm, they wanted me to let baby labor down for a while. Around 10:30, they flipped me over onto my hands and knees to help baby descend more, and during that half hour or so, I almost gave up. I cried and cried, and I just wanted to tell them to schedule a c-section. At 11, I was flipped to my side with the peanut ball again, and then flipped again at 11:30. Mark went to get some food, and I asked Nicki about getting a booster of the epidural because I could tell it was wearing off. She said she was worried I wouldn't be able to push effectively with the booster, and I agreed, so I didn't get one - but I did break down sobbing around noon, and told her and Mark that I was done. I just wanted to push, it hurt too much trying not to push and I wanted this baby out. We called the nurse and Amy, and after a check (I was 10 cm) they said ok, and FINALLY I got to start pushing. Amy kept checking to make sure I was moving the baby well, because she didn't want me to wear myself out, and she was very happy with how well the baby moved, so we kept pushing, and trying different positions to push in.
After about an hour, we started to see the top of baby's head - full of hair! That was all the motivation I needed. We had techs and nurses coming in, setting up, breaking down the bed for delivery, and I was just focused on seeing more of that head emerge. It was the most amazing experience. More nurses appeared. Since they were concerned with the potential for shoulder dystocia, they needed a full team. Baby's head was almost out - for 3 agonizing contractions (or 9 pushes) it was crowning. Finally, the head was out! And what a huge head it was! Then the shoulders, and just when I thought it was over, the belly, of all things, got stuck. Amy and the nurses were yelling at me for one more push, and I was laying back, thinking "nope, I'm done, thank you". Somehow, I gathered my strength, gave one final, long push, and the whole body emerged. Amy held him up to me, and I cried as I announced to the room "IT'S A BOY!!!!"
Logan Alexander Tucci entered the world at 1:42 PM, on his due date, after 32 long, hard hours of labor, and he was perfect. They placed him on my chest, and everything except Mark and our son faded away. He was here, and he was healthy, and my heart was bursting with love.