Our NICU Story: Days 1-8

Where were we... oh yes.  I was hoping that after being evaluated by the NICU doctors and nurses that everything would settle down and we'd get Lilly in my room.  When we went to see her on my way down to recovery, she was having her first bath.  Another piece of my heart was ripped away.  She was screaming the entire (minutes long) visit.  We left to go to my room and settle in for some food - my first meal in over a day.  I ate what I could, and tried to keep from crying.  My family stayed for a bit, and then left.  Mark and I headed to the NICU to spend some time with our baby girl.  I got to feed her for the first time and finally have some skin-to-skin cuddles.  Stefanie, the first nurse we met, explained all the monitors, tests, etc.  The doctor and nurses said that sometimes the stress of a long labor and quick delivery can cause issues.  They also explained that it could be an infection due to my water being broken so long before she was born.  They did some blood work and some cultures, and we would probably know the results the next day.

Delirious with lack of sleep, but so happy to FINALLY hold my baby girl.

We stayed with her in the NICU until around 10 PM, then headed back to my room to try to get some rest.  The nurses were going to call me when she woke so I could come feed her.  The first 24 hours after she was born is basically a blur to me.  I don't really remember much except sitting in the NICU with Lilly curled up on me (and fighting Mark over who got to hold her).  My nurses and the OB/GYN on call had to keep coming to the NICU to find me to check on me.  We had some visitors the next day, my family and some of Mark's.  We could only have two people at a time in to see her.

I was going to be discharged on Saturday, and we were waiting for the results of her culture and blood work to see if she could come home with us.  We woke up Saturday morning excited, and while the culture was negative, her white blood cell count and some other things were still elevated, all signs pointing to an infection.  She had to have more antibiotics and more blood work.  Although I was discharged, we could stay in the room until 11:30 PM.  We left around 9, went to Target for some girl outfits and pink blankets and bows, and hoped that Lilly would be coming home on Sunday.  When we went in on Sunday morning, hoping for good news, we were disappointed.  She definitely had an infection and needed a full 7 day course of antibiotics.  My heart was broken, and I sat there and cried.  Luckily, she had already had two days, so we could bring her home on Friday if everything went well.

Hoping to bring her home, but settled for snuggles

That week was so rough.  Our next five days were spent planning everything in 2-3 hour chunks of time.  At first, I was having the nurses call me at night when Lilly woke up and we would rush off to feed her.  Once my milk came in, I was pumping and eventually made the very difficult decision to let the nurses give her bottles of pumped milk at night so we could actually get some sleep.  We are so very lucky that we live so close to the hospital.  We could be up and out the door and in the NICU within 5-8 minutes.

Kisses from mommy

Lilly had two different kinds of antibiotics that week.  We also had to monitor her blood sugar levels for a few days to make sure she was getting enough food.  She was jaundiced as well, and that took a while to clear up - she was close to having to spend some time under the lights.  Normally, babies lose about 10% of their birth weight, but then regain it within 7-10 days.  When you're in the NICU, they monitor things so much more closely.  We had to weigh her once a day.  Sometimes before and after a feed.  We had to save diapers and weigh them also to make sure she was getting enough to eat.

I know some people will think, "Well she only spent 8 days in the NICU - there are some babies that spend months there.  What's the big deal?  It was just a little infection, nothing serious."  My response is that she was septic.  That IS a big deal.  Sepsis is a leading cause of infant death.  That is scary.  My entire world was laying in the NICU, and I was devastated that there was nothing I could do for her except watch while she was poked and prodded.  One day, our favorite nurse Christa called and said they needed to place a new IV.  She said it shouldn't take too long, about 15-20 minutes, and she'd call when they were done so we could come feed her.  We had been napping and decided to take advantage of our extra time.  When I woke up an hour later to no phone call, I was worried.  Christa called again and said they were having some trouble placing the IV.  It took over an hour and a half (and several nurses), and she ended up with her entire hand bandaged up in what we affectionately called her boxing glove to keep the IV in.  Seeing her little hand restrained broke my heart all over again. 

Lilly's boxing glove

I'm so grateful for my family.  They were so supportive the entire week.  My mom kept Dash because he was so confused about why we kept coming and going so often.  My husband deserves so much credit for keeping me sane during those 8 days.  He drove me back and forth to the hospital since I couldn't drive.  He comforted me when I cried - even when I cried over the dumbest things.  He made me eat and drink and shower and sleep.  I would have sat in a chair by her bassinet in the NICU for 8 straight days if not for him. 

My wonderful husband

We are both so eternally grateful for the staff at the hospital as well.  The nurses there are a special kind of amazing.  They are patient and loving and kind and there are not enough words in the world to express how thankful I am for everything they did for me and my family.

On Lilly's one week birthday, we got some GREAT news!  We could finally bring our baby home...